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Belief Systems and Effective Communication (by Bob Burg)

Belief Systems and Effective Communication (by Bob Burg)

I’ve been excited for months, looking forward to sharing this wisdom with you. And finally, Adversaries Into Allies: Win People Over Without Manipulation or Coercion, is making it’s debut! It was written by a dear friend and trusted mentor whom I am sure you all know, Bob Burg.  He describes it as “the book I was born to write,” and even though I will always love The Go-Giver and know that Bob embodies that book in every way, after reading an early copy of Adversaries Into Allies, I agree. This book is the very essence of Bob. The following excerpt is, of course, used by permission. ————————- Why is it so often the case that, what we’re absolutely sure we know…turns out to be wrong? Because, we make decisions based on very limited information; information controlled by our personal Belief System. Our Belief System is a combination of upbringing, environment, schooling, news media, television, movies; really, every experience our mind ever takes in. It operates unconsciously and drives our thoughts and behaviors without our even being aware of such. It is also the root cause for practically all miscommunication. How do we overcome this and communicate much more effectively? First, we need to become aware that, while we are acting unconsciously out of our own Belief System, the other person is, too. Yes, two very different sets of beliefs are in play! Next, we practice staying aware; constantly checking that we are making decisions based not on appearances but on what really is. Here’s an effective way to work within this context in order to practically ensure that both...
If it Glitters Call it Gold

If it Glitters Call it Gold

It’s always amazing (and a little amusing) to me, when I’m in the middle of writing a few chapters on something, and suddenly I see examples of it everywhere I look. I was helping a friend with a yard sale, and we’d just decided that the mandolin that she’d brought back from England should go inside since the skies were threatening rain.  She already had an offer on it from a shop that specialized in resale musical instruments so it wasn’t something she was particularly concerned about selling. It had no more gone back in its case and into the house than a visitor asked, “Do you happen to have any musical instruments?” When the older gentleman heard a description of the mandolin he wanted to see it, so she brought it out for his inspection. It wasn’t clear where it was made, or when. No mass market stamps gave it away. So they chatted back and forth about possibilities and, in the course of the conversation, my friend said, “Well, you know those stories you hear about someone buying some old violin and finding out that it’s a Stradivarius or something.” The gentleman bristled, “Those are all just stories,” he asserted. “Never happens.” I’d just been writing on our desire to believe in absolutes. Words like “never,” or “always” or “just” or “only.” Absolutes suggest that there is only one possibility, one option, one outcome, one idea worth believing, worth pursing, worth even speaking aloud. I call them the “Abusive Absolutes,” and if you visit this space regularly, subscribe to this blog, or buy my next book, you’ll be hearing more about...
Are You Willing and Able?

Are You Willing and Able?

There are many cliches and platitudes about being brave or courageous, and most have to do with acting without fear, or acting in spite of fear. I was recently asked to comment on what makes some people more able to make decisions and take action in spite of fear, and the quote that came to mind was neither a cliche or a platitude - but something I recognized as part of my personal truth the first time I read it,  “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” ~ Anais Nin Yes, when we allow fear to stop us from living the life we choose we shrink our very life. An unlimited life is only available to those brave enough, courageous enough, to claim it. The dictionary gives the common definition of bravery as this: “Ready to face and endure danger or pain; showing courage.” And the common definition of courage as this: “The ability to do something that frightens one.” So basically, to be brave and courageous is to be ready and able to face something or to do something. I speak to fear a great deal in my work with entrepreneurs, teaching them to allow fear to be their friend, to embrace the energy of fear and turn it to personal power to accomplish their objectives. I often suggest to them that being without fear is an unhealthy goal, but that being prepared to move forward through their fear, even to allow their fear to galvanize that momentum, makes them more powerful than if they refused to acknowledge fear at all. Ultimately, that preparation requires being connected...