Have you ever read one of those books that puts a language to a whole realm of “things you knew to be true” but could never really put in a nutshell so that you could share them with everyone else? Two books top that list for me; “Pure Instinct” by Kathy Kolbe and “The Go-Giver” by Bob Burg and John David Mann. Anyone who knows me knows about those two books, they’ve been that impactful in my life.
So when I read the blog post by Bob Burg “Go-Getters are Also Good” explaining that the opposite of a go-giver” isn’t a “go-getter” but a “go-taker” a light went on.
But you know, living in a world overwhelmed with “go-takers” can make it tough to convert to being a “go-giver”. I recently connected a well seasoned, highly knowledgeable, business consultant with a young cinematographer. This young man has loads of talent, a real passion for what he does and an impressive body of work and I felt he was ready to hear some feedback on his business strategy. So after their first lunch together I asked the young man how it went. He said he thought he’d done something to upset the consultant but didn’t know what. We talked for a bit and finally I asked him, “Does it make you suspicious when you can’t figure out the other person’s agenda?” His answer? “Well, yeah,” delivered in the tone we usually use when we say “Well, duh!”
So I asked him, “Do you think you might have upset him because you didn’t trust him?”
Brief pause then the light went on.
Sure enough, when I talked with the consultant he confirmed the “dissync” – he didn’t like knowing this young man didn’t trust him. And all for the lack of a self-serving agenda on the part of either party!
I hope this story has a happy ending and that these two terrific guys will connect again. That I can’t promise. What I can promise is this – if we look for “go-takers” we will find them. But if we look for a “go-taker” in someone who is really a “go-giver” we will only be confused and suspicious and we’ll miss out on some of the best opportunities that will ever come our way.
What “go-givers” might you have a “dyssync” with? Is it possible that you might have turned away the offer of a lifetime because of unfounded suspicions?